A Love Letter Unsent III

So much of what you are is making me what I am. Better, as your half, more confident, as a man. Your love has given me a worth I’m unaccustomed to. You loving me as me, not what should I or could be makes all the difference.

TO BEGIN WITH

"A few weeks back, I began the “A Love Letter Unsent” series, which somehow we couldn’t consider as such because so far there were only two. It started me to thinking, however. Lately the same situation that inspired the original “A Love Letter Unsent” has caused me to begin writing love letters that may only be seen posted in multiply by the one for whom they are intended. It’s all too complicated to get into but I thought if these letters could touch people in ways that are meaningful to them perhaps I might let go of a few not too personal to be shared. Here’s such a letter." - Emon, 7/25/08

This is 3-of-7 of my "Love Letters Unsent" series. I wrote them for Denielle back in 2008 when I frequently traveled to Cebu and Davao because of work. I promised to post one letter a day before before Denielle's birthday.

I wrote these letters during my stay in different hotel rooms. They were called "unsent" because I only made Denielle read them after I came back home.

A LOVE LETTER UNSENT III

It’s been seven years since that day at McDonald’s. Seven years. Fundamentally I haven’t changed. A line or two may have formed between my eyebrows and my chin has been growing almost to its double year by year, but I love every subtle anatomic modification because each was earned at some expense.

So much of what you are is making me what I am. Better, as your half, more confident, as a man. Your love has given me a worth I’m unaccustomed to. You loving me as me, not what should I or could be makes all the difference.

In writing to brag about the transformed me, I always speak of us. Please remember, do not forget, We are Us. Our solo selves have all but gone. If my universe turns faster, hurriedly hops along – you are the gears inside me. You make every motion with me as we go. I do not find this rearrangement of our lives astonishing. Ever since that Saturday I saw love look back at me from you, I found security ancient lovers could not give. Then is when I knew it would be you for always.

Your mind and body, both naked to me, overwhelm me. Sink down into the pillows with me and don’t rise up again until we’ve loved so long that we remain weak unable to rise. There. Your head face down against my belly is the perfect starting place.

Good night, my love, even before it becomes night. You will sleep warm and well because you are next to me and we are taking care of one another.

Baby

Raymund's Random Insights

It's nice to have someone to look good for.

None of us is so rich and influential that we cannot be further enriched by love.

The supply of love will never exceed the demand, but it should.

Poem of the Week

HISTORY

by Raymund Tamayo

I have seen you
when your smiles and frowns
were so mixed up and entwined
that no one – not even you -
could have said
with any sureness
what face you were giving
to the crowd.

I have walked with you to bus stations,
poultry farms and hidden beaches,
then thirty minutes later
I have been with someone else
and loved you no the less.

I have wept for you,
about you
and with you.
I have shared with your secrets
and mine
and kept them private.

I have fought with you
and over you,
loved you and disliked you
in equal parts and at the same time.

I have loved you
never asking if I should.
I have trusted you
not caring if I could
or couldn't.

In your company
with strangers or your friends
I have smiled and gone on smiling
even when I thought no single smile
or grin
was yet left inside me.

I have lied to you
for no good reason.
I have troubled you
and even when I knew it
sometimes that didn't make me stop.

The things we did and still doing
in love's name
never stop surprising me.
I'm amazed that love
can live at all
through all the blindness,
pass through all the barricades,
stumble over all the obstacles
we come across
and sometimes construct
along its way.

Just now
what kind of passion
stirs inside of me
I can not say.
I feel for you
and it's as much love
as I've known love,
and it's as much as I need,
depend on,
want just you
as I have no way of knowing.

Our lives together
have become so knotted, blended,
united,
there is a history here
that who's to say
where the heart ended
and the soul started?

And now, after all,
I still love you – yes – you got it right.
I cannot care a little for you.
I love you only just enough
to love you all the way.

(January 2007)

AND FINALLY

The week is a blast. A beautiful Tuesday evening, my friend. Play safely and sleep warm.

Thanks for stopping by - see you when I see you.