Love without Friendship is one-sided, while Friendship without Love is deception.
TO BEGIN WITH
A sweet August day and we’re promised more when kind rains arrive. Yesterday, talking to my wife as we sleep, I realized something when she asked “do you remember all your poems?” By that question we are talking about hundreds and hundreds, and it took me a while to ponder before answering.
At church, when leading worship, I’ve been known to forget lyrics of songs I’ve sung a hundred times. When it happens more than once you learn quickly to make up something, anything, words, words nearly any words because the ensemble and the mantle of worship will not pause for you or for anything. What makes it easier during those incidents was because the new found words came from the heart.
With poetry it’s different. No, I don’t have that many of my poems committed to memory but if I read or hear a phrase from something I’ve written I can almost always remember the exact circumstance of its origin. The how, the where, the why, and especially the "who" of it.
To end this, I just want to share some thoughts on success. I measure success by how well I sleep on a given night. If I have not had to question my motives for any particular action I might have undertaken, or knowingly caused another human being trouble or discomfort, then I am at peace with my God and myself and I fall asleep easily.
If sleep comes hard, then I know the day has been a personal failure. Immediately, I say sorry and ask God’s forgiveness before I sleep.
FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE
How far is friendship from love? Not very. Both are immediate needs. Both deserve all the care that we can give them. All the trust that we can muster and let go of, all the selflessness that we too easily forget.
Friendship thrives on love. Love is so much better with friendship added. And life doesn’t work very well in the absence of either. I am in love with, or do love very much, the friend that I have in my wife. I am glad that is the case, because I wouldn’t want it any other way than how I have it right now. To lose her will leave an emptiness somewhere inside that no amount of time or rationalization will ever fill.
Nights are shorter with her around. It was always not enough. We talk about everything --- books, films, music, cooking, nba, poetry, the sea, God… the latest episode of Mom’s… everything and anything you can think of and can imagine. 10:00 pm is always the best time of the day for me… not breakfast, not writing corporate articles, not making movies, not taking a bath, not shooting winning jump shots, not playing the guitar and singing with a crowd, not going home… the best is 10:00 pm, when I’m alone with my wife, a hot cup of tea, and our daughter sleeping next to us.
Friendship consists of being a friend, not having a friend. And so it is that friendship means loving rather than being loved. The gifts that one receives for giving are so immeasurable that it is almost an injustice to accept them.
Today is Valentines day, and it only makes me think of red roses, fancy restaurants, unexpected letters, messages bent in fortune cookies, notes in bottles set adrift. I don’t have any of those, but kindness without expectation, that would be the gift. What I’m only trying to say is --- be a friend to your wife, laugh with her, sing with her. Tell jokes, if she laughs before the punchline then you know she really loves you. It is good to be friends with someone you promised forever with.
- from "Coffee and Mornings," 2010 essays
Random Thoughts
At church, when leading worship, I’ve been known to forget lyrics of songs I’ve sung a hundred times. When it happens more than once you learn quickly to make up something, anything, words, words nearly any words because the ensemble and the mantle of worship will not pause for you or for anything. What makes it easier during those incidents was because the new found words came from the heart.
With poetry it’s different. No, I don’t have that many of my poems committed to memory but if I read or hear a phrase from something I’ve written I can almost always remember the exact circumstance of its origin. The how, the where, the why, and especially the "who" of it.
To end this, I just want to share some thoughts on success. I measure success by how well I sleep on a given night. If I have not had to question my motives for any particular action I might have undertaken, or knowingly caused another human being trouble or discomfort, then I am at peace with my God and myself and I fall asleep easily.
If sleep comes hard, then I know the day has been a personal failure. Immediately, I say sorry and ask God’s forgiveness before I sleep.
FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE
How far is friendship from love? Not very. Both are immediate needs. Both deserve all the care that we can give them. All the trust that we can muster and let go of, all the selflessness that we too easily forget.
Friendship thrives on love. Love is so much better with friendship added. And life doesn’t work very well in the absence of either. I am in love with, or do love very much, the friend that I have in my wife. I am glad that is the case, because I wouldn’t want it any other way than how I have it right now. To lose her will leave an emptiness somewhere inside that no amount of time or rationalization will ever fill.
Nights are shorter with her around. It was always not enough. We talk about everything --- books, films, music, cooking, nba, poetry, the sea, God… the latest episode of Mom’s… everything and anything you can think of and can imagine. 10:00 pm is always the best time of the day for me… not breakfast, not writing corporate articles, not making movies, not taking a bath, not shooting winning jump shots, not playing the guitar and singing with a crowd, not going home… the best is 10:00 pm, when I’m alone with my wife, a hot cup of tea, and our daughter sleeping next to us.
Friendship consists of being a friend, not having a friend. And so it is that friendship means loving rather than being loved. The gifts that one receives for giving are so immeasurable that it is almost an injustice to accept them.
Today is Valentines day, and it only makes me think of red roses, fancy restaurants, unexpected letters, messages bent in fortune cookies, notes in bottles set adrift. I don’t have any of those, but kindness without expectation, that would be the gift. What I’m only trying to say is --- be a friend to your wife, laugh with her, sing with her. Tell jokes, if she laughs before the punchline then you know she really loves you. It is good to be friends with someone you promised forever with.
- from "Coffee and Mornings," 2010 essays
Random Thoughts
By leaning on someone you love you help to hold them up.
When arguing, remember to remember to forget.
Silence never needs improvement.
Poem of the Week
When arguing, remember to remember to forget.
Silence never needs improvement.
Poem of the Week
I FEEL HAPPINESS AND KNOW YOU’VE COME INTO THE ROOM
by Raymund Tamayo
by Raymund Tamayo
I feel happiness and know you’ve come into the room.
Standing still
you do so in a way
that peace saturates the room,
the bed, the night, the world
where you choose to be.
There’s a sweetness in you
that covers everything it touches
so that smell, feelings
linger even when you’ve only passed.
What makes you extra ordinary
in every way
is that with you, within my life
no day is ordinary or alike.
While you move easy
or stand still,
inside the room or walking out,
know that you have strengthened, sweetened,
straightened out, made my life complete
forever.
(November 2007)
AND FINALLY
Standing still
you do so in a way
that peace saturates the room,
the bed, the night, the world
where you choose to be.
There’s a sweetness in you
that covers everything it touches
so that smell, feelings
linger even when you’ve only passed.
What makes you extra ordinary
in every way
is that with you, within my life
no day is ordinary or alike.
While you move easy
or stand still,
inside the room or walking out,
know that you have strengthened, sweetened,
straightened out, made my life complete
forever.
(November 2007)
AND FINALLY
I love the smell of rain. But only when I'm at home and looking out the window. Hope to have you here again and often. Coffee is on me. =) Ciao, for now.
Thanks for stopping by - see you when I see you.
Thanks for stopping by - see you when I see you.
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